Black Friday

Paint the devil on the wall.

Thanksgiving Prayer

LAWLESS WEEKEND

THE CULT IS ALIVE!

THE DEVIL RIDES OUT!

CALLING ALL SONS OF FIRE & DAUGHTERS OF THE BLACK MOON!

ACHTUNG PORTLAND!

There has been some confusion about the location of the Portland WATAIN assembly. The unholy legions will be gathering at the recently renovated BRANX space (formerly the Loveland under Club Rotture) on Friday November 12th. Tickets are now available.

DON'T BREAK THE OATH.

The Tom Savini Incident

So we drove down to Eugene, Oregon this weekend to catch Christian Mistress on Halloween for the final show of their first North American tour. They looked surprisingly unscathed after several weeks on the road and destroyed with a short but characteristically powerful set. I can't wait to see them in Europe some day so I'm not the only asshole banging my head in the room. It's no secret that I adore these Northwest rockers and they never fail to deliver the goods...

The Thrones presided with a killer set that consisted of new material, a welcome surprise for longtime fans who were getting bored with the same ol' set in recent years. What does all this have to do with Tom Savini, you ask?

Erratum: Mr. Preston says, "Wrong...same ol' warmed over shit set."

It's amazing what a good mood and Jamesons will do for the ears.

The real treat of the night occurred when Mr. Joe Preston directed my attention to a drunk man who was barreling through the doors of The Oak Street Speakeasy impeccably costumed as gore effects pioneer and stud actor/director/stuntman Tom Savini! I was actually stunned by the likeness. Needless to say, I had to get a photo with this genius of disguise. I approached him at the bar where he was having a difficult time standing up and ordering a drink at the same time and popped the question: "Are you dressed as Tom Savini?" His answer came in the form of a question. It was in fact the very same question I've heard from girlfriends most of my life right before I end the relationship: "Who's Tom Savini?" He went on to explain that he didn't have time for a Halloween costume and was actually dressed, "As myself!" Regardless, he was quickly pulled aside for the inevitable photo shoot.

As this picture was snapped he said, "So who's Tom Savini anyway?" "Don't worry," I shouted over the din of a lackluster Runaways cover band, "He's a ruggedly handsome actor. You'd love him!"

Will the real Tom Savini please stare intensely at the computer screen?

It was a fun night and a perfect close to perhaps my favorite holiday of the year. Not only that but today, November 3rd, is the real Tom Savini's birthday! That's right. The Sultan of Splatter celebrates his 64th year today and I personally send my most heartfelt birthday wishes his way. Tom Savini is of course responsible for engineering some of the most memorable moments in cinematic gore history and if you have even a passing interest in horror flicks you've undoubtedly marveled at his innovative effects and swaggering screen presence. His resume includes such genre defining classics as Deranged (1972), Martin (1977), Dawn of The Dead (1978), Maniac (1980), Friday the 13th (1980), The Burning (1981), The Prowler (1981), Creepshow (1982) and more recently From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Planet Terror (2007) and Machete (2010). And let's not forget one of my personal favorite cult 80's films Knightriders (1980). Let's review:

Christian Mistress rocks.

Diamond Joe Preston is one swell fella'.

Tom Savini rules.

This guy does too.

Happy Birthday, Tom Savini!

GROSS ANATOMY (part 11)

Welcome back, righteous reader of the ribald! I assume you survived Halloween? Well, I have another little treat for you on this blustery day of the dead. If you've been following the blog lately then you know I seem to do just about everything except draw these days. It's true. I enjoy spending my time pursuing other obsessions and occasionally I like to sit in an upright position for months at a time. But recently the Olympia Film Society commissioned me to draw the poster for their annual trash movie marathon All Freakin' Night and this event is simply too cool to pass up! So pour yourself a goblet of rotgut and grab your bag of candy because for this installment of Gross Anatomy we shall thoroughly deconstruct my latest abomination...

I started out mindlessly scribbling on scraps of paper as usual. At some point this little vampire dude made an appearance. I may revisit him at some later date. I like his style.

Eventually this crude motif emerged from the scribblings and caught my attention. This is a play on something I probably saw in Mad Magazine as a kid or maybe one of those Bill Elder postcards from the 50's. Regardless, I really liked this idea of self-mincing in a meat grinder as an obvious symbol of the cinematic grindhouse tradition. Well, and there's that great Judas Priest ditty...

Now I'm getting somewhere. I took the grinder motif and ran with it as I formatted all the poster information in this very rough sketch. That weird robotic face under the grinder on the right is actually a tape deck dripping blood (or toxic monster goo) which is one of my favorite scenes from The Being!

Once I nailed down the imagery I wanted to use, I transfered the basic layout onto illustration board freehand. I use pencil to make sure I can accommodate all the relevant information once I start inking and get carried away. The pencil sketch helps curb my enthusiasm for more detail and more imagery. More! MORE! MORE!!!!

Click on the eyeballs for a better view.

Here it is! Heavy on imagery but I think I still managed to maintain a relatively legible flow for the eye. Those of you who are professionally trained may note that this very clearly does not abide by the "50/50" rule. In other words, there is an unbalanced black to white ratio which is apparently something of a graphic design no-no. Whatever. This works for me. I hear these flyers have already popped up in Seattle and Portland so hopefully I'll see some of you on November 20th at The Capitol Theater. I'll be the creepy drunk guy in the back row. I've asked that this original art be auctioned off with proceeds to benefit the Olympia Film Society so check their website for details as the date draws closer.

Until next time, remember...
"Grinder is looking for meat! Grinder wants you to eat!"

Ghoul's Night Out!

Why did all the children in heat change their names to Chicago?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

My second annual Halloween Mix Tape is now available for download at the mighty Cosmic Hearse! I don't need to wax poetic here because unless your head is up your ass you probably already worship at the daily shrine that is Aesop Dekker's incredible music blog. I actually don't often download music but Aesop is a fantastic writer and I always enjoy his perspective. He's obsessive, reverent, generous and good-natured and I was thrilled to be invited to guest post again this year. My collection of songs isn't necessarily kvlt, grim, obscure, rare, or even out-of-print but hopefully you'll be exposed to a few new/old sounds while you're carving your pumpkins. And here's a link to last year's mix in case you missed out. Happy Halloween!

No Typical Girl

"Who invented the typical girl?

Who's bringing out the new improved model?

And there's another marketing ploy

Typical girl gets the typical boy."

-The Slits

I don't often drag my family into the blog but this one is for my daughter. Her first record was The Slits LP Cut and she really resonated with their weird brand of spastic rasta punk from an early age. I never really got it myself, but what do I know? A few years ago when The Slits briefly reformed and passed through Portland my daughter had the opportunity to meet these pioneers face to face and get her vinyl signed. They showed up to their all ages record store appearance very late but delivered a lively set for the small dedicated throng who stuck around and were very gracious with their young (and old) fans. Sadly, news has hit the Internet that founding member Ari Up passed away today at the terribly young age of 48 due to a mysterious "serious illness". She struck me as a feisty lady who didn't take shit from anyone and she was definitely not a typical girl. Blast some Slits in her memory this week and remember the day when punk meant breaking the fucking rules and thinking for yourself.

R.I.P. Ari Up!

The Sound of Fear Volume 1 & 2

I love this time of year! The air is crisp, the sunsets are inspiring and the veil between life and death is stretched thin. It's harvest time! To celebrate, I've assembled two volumes of horror soundtrack music recorded exclusively from vintage vinyl and available for a limited time only at Mississippi Records in beautiful Portland City, Oregon. Each cassette contains 60 minutes of pulse-pounding, blood-curdling terror...THE SOUND OF FEAR! Cheaper than razor blades and sweeter than candy apples. Your ears will piss their pants!

Mississippi Records
4007 N. Mississippi Ave.
Portland, Oregon
503.282.2990

CONTEST WINNERS!

THE CONTEST RESULTS ARE IN!

I guess all of my bitching proved motivational because this past week I was flooded with one stunning submission after another! In fact, there were so many excellent entries that I've decided to recognize first, second and third place awards. I've also been moved to acknowledge a few artists whose work deserves honorable mention. To those of you who created work that does not appear here on the blog, all I can say is that I am deeply honored that you devoted time and energy to this contest. You have boldly distinguished yourselves from the multitude of smug cunts who clutter message boards with dull anonymous commentary but contribute nothing. For your effort, I salute you! Now let's celebrate the winners...

FIRST PLACE:

Eglė Tamulytė

I just love this wildly imaginative drawing by Eglė Tamulytė from Lithuania! Her claustrophobic crosshatching almost obscures the entire composition in darkness but never detracts from the detail or compromises the oppressive mood. You get the feeling she's never actually listened to the Subhumans record that inspired this contest and she almost certainly doesn't have time for your "fun" punk rock bullshit. "The day the internet dies," she explains, "Humankind will be lost in chaos, afraid of uncontrollable situation. Unpredictable flow of information will go around in circles like predatory animal-hybrids with artificial intelligence. Despair. Humanity will be feeling their hands have been cut. Powerless, weak, helpless like infants." You win, Eglė. I'll be sending you a copy of Destroying Angels #5 signed by Kerry King and Jeff Hanneman of SLAYER! Congratulations.

SECOND PLACE:

Carlos Gonzalez

I wonder if Carlos is a tattoo artist because this nasty little zombie apocalypse would look great etched into George Romero's flesh. The lines are strong and clean, the shading is smooth and the composition is pleasing to the eye. I also appreciate how he took elements from the original reference material such as the priest, moon, crowds, and aircraft and re-imagined them in his own style. Well done, Carlos. I'll be sending you a signed & numbered/limited edition print for your effort. Total Necro Death!!!!

THIRD PLACE:

Jack Mulkern

Of all the submissions I received, Jack played things the straightest with this hilarious parody of the original cover. He tells me he was inspired to enter the contest when he lost his Internet recently and was forced to watch ants parade across his table for entertainment. This is a classic case of raw spirit trumping technical ability. It's crude, loose and punk as fuck. Jack, I'll be sending you a double-sided Destroying Angels shirt which I expect you to immediately rip the sleeves off for maximum destruction in the pit. ONE, TWO, OUY KCUF!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Raquel Diez is a talented young tattoo artist/illustrator from Barcelona, Spain and I really enjoyed what she created for the contest. Stark, simple and fun. I appreciate that the 'banger she has portrayed has taken the theme of THE DAY THE INTERNET DIED into his own hands. Literally. Now that he's set all those monsters loose, how is he going to update his art blog???

Julien "Nagawika" Le Guennec is one of my favorite underground cartoonists out there these days. He has caused me to spit my beer out all over the computer screen on multiple occasions and his contest entry here was no exception. Be sure to check out the new issue of Destroying Angels for more of his work.

Here's a bizarre one from Michal Spryszak of Poland. What the fuck is going on here, Michal? The guy on the floor appears to have a dildo shoved up his ass and the priest seems altogether unfazed by the bullet that has just cast his brain out of cranial Eden. He even slipped in a funny Mayhem gag and if you look closely at the newspaper you'll discover yet another porn reference. You guys are a buncha' perverts!

This drawing by Carmelo Espanola looks like a splash panel from some weird underground comic that I'd love to read while listening to Voivod! I like the narrative flow. And the vomit flow. And the Leviathan logo on his neck. "We are connected. We are connected. We are connected..."

Thanks again to EVERYONE who sent in artwork. And a very special thanks to the mysterious Nick Lant who drew the original artwork for The Day The Country Died back in 1983! I'll post more contests soon! In the meantime...STAY ACTIVE!