Thursday, August 30, 2012

WORLD THEATRICAL PREMIERE OF WATAIN DOCUMENTARY: OPUS DIABOLI!


"Higher! Higher! Come on you sons of fire, daughters of the black moon, practitioners of arts most dire..."

In my eternal quest to impose unprofitable and thankless rituals upon a largely apathetic and whimpering world, I am pleased to announce the theatrical premiere of WATAIN's transcendent and beautiful self-portrait OPUS DIABOLI at Portland, Oregon's independently-owned CINEMA 21! Director Johan Bååth and the Watain horde cooperated to procure a high-resolution cinema quality version of their 90 minute documentary that will look and sound stunning on a 40' screen with surround sound speakers! OPUS DIABOLI features concert footage from Watain's thirteenth anniversary performance in Stockholm, Sweden- filmed shortly after the band won the 2011 Swedish Grammis Award for Best Hard Rock act- interspersed with interviews, historical footage, and a barrage of incendiary images that illuminate the many symbols and ideas connected to this controversial band's legacy. The movie will be screened only once at precisely midnight on the autumnal equinox so don't sit around updating your Facebook status or you'll miss it. Forever.

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 22, 2012
616 Northwest 21st Avenue 
 Portland, Oregon
Midnight



Sunday, August 26, 2012

Long Way Home


Lest we forget...
FREE BOBBY NOW!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Second Coming of...XINR!


All right, you sinners...SWING! If you read this blog with any regularity you should already know that I operate a modest little vinyl-only record label called Unseen Forces. Well, today I'm extremely pleased to announce the fifth release in our catalog...and what a fuckin' release it is!  XINR (pronounced "ex-sinner") was a very unique heavy metal band hailing from Portland, Oregon circa 1984.  The band's history is an epic tale full of tragedy and triumph, regret and reconciliation and the final chapter is as yet unwritten.  All you need to know for today's purposes is that this LP is a true headbangin' classic!  I realize a lot of message board lurkers toss around adjectives like "long lost", "obscure", "classic" and "cult" but I expect YOU to recognize the real deal when you hear it, brothers and sisters. Prepare to be beaten into submission by the absolutely unforgettable power of soon-to-be-favorites like Fight the Dragon, The Hills Have Eyes, The Ghostly Galleon, Fall to the Prey and Ever Present Angel! Shameless self-promotion? You bet your ass. Buy it now!

 

Here's me and drummer Paul Dreyer proudly displaying his original 'Trust Xinr' silkscreen and one of the few remaining shirts printed from that screen in 1985! It's humbling to have had some small role in exalting this  powerful music to vinyl.

 

The band sees their record for the first time!


Roger DeCarlo, me and Paul Dreyer hug it out.



I like to think that if vocalist Tony Saiz was still with us he would be feeling like this right about now. Depending on who you ask, he just might be smiling over the proceedings from the misty hereafter.  In any case, come out to the official record release party on Saturday September 15th at Portland's East End and meet surviving members Roger DeCarlo, Paul Dreyer and Kenny Stocks. The guys will talk about the band's history and the roots of heavy metal in Portland before we blast through the entire record. Afterwards DANAVA will rip a goddamn strip in honor of XINR!


Bangers take your stand!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Importance of Being THE DEADLY SPAWN!


"The worst sin for an exploitation film is for it to be boring.  It can insult our intelligence, batter our senses, and fail to make any sense; but it can never be boring." - Chas. Balun

Let's dispense with plot right off the bat.  A meteorite that is more like a space-placenta lands in a bucolic New Jersey suburb, hatches awesome looking extraterrestrial tadpoles that grow extremely fast and soon get busy devouring life.  Thirteen year old Charles is the quintessential monster movie fan who, like Corey Feldman in Friday the 13th: The Final (ha!) Chapter,  quickly assesses the situation and uses his wits and otherwise totally useless movie trivia to make a stand against the gnashing teeth of doom and save humanity from total oblivion.  Not exactly the stuff of doctorate theses, and it shouldn't be.  The storyline and drizzling backdrops are merely a set-up for some really cool practical special effects and character development that is surprisingly understated and believable for a flick about...well...we've already dispensed with plot haven't we?  Let's make another thing perfectly clear: you will laugh out loud at the screen.  And not always when the creators intended.  The unstoppable "eating machine" from another galaxy sorta resembles a crossbreed between Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors and that thing on the cover of Autopsy's Mental Funeral and, let's face it, it's very amusing (that's still no excuse to shout at the screen like a fuckin' idiot...so don't!).  This is a low budget flick.  Like, a really low budget flick.  Like, an estimated total budget of $40,000 low budget flick (IMDB and Nightmare USA claim the estimated budget was $25,000 but back in 1986 splatter champion Chas. Balun claimed that the producers confided to him that the total budget was $40,000 and I'm sticking with Balun).  To put that in cinematic perspective,  John Carpenter's Halloween (1978) cost about $320,000. Friday the 13th part III which was released the same year cost an estimated $2,500,000 and C.H.U.D., another highly enjoyable monster flick that came along a few years later, had a budget of $1,250,000.  Which brings me around to the premise of today's rant.  Enjoy The Deadly Spawn for exactly what it is...an extremely satisfying labor of love created by some very creative dudes who loved monsters and horror flicks and pooled their resources to make a fiercely independent movie on their own goddamn terms despite the industry's daunting odds and political ass-kissery.  This is an outrageously fun testament to what can be accomplished when unwavering passion collides with ingenuity...on weekends only, of course, because the crew all had regular day jobs.  Consider this: director of special effects John Dods met producer Tim Hildebrandt at a sci-fi fan convention, not some bullshit Hollywood executive suite and you can bet your ass they were high-fivin' about how much Karo Syrup they'd need, not foreign distribution deals or "units" sold.  They didn't even have a complete working script when they began filming.  If you haven't already surmised, producer Tim Hildebrandt was he of the Brothers Hildebrandt, the immensely talented twins who carved a name for themselves back in the 80's with their fantastic artwork for Dungeons and Dragons, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, The Secret of Nimh, etc.  In fact, it was Tim Hildebrandt who painted the great original promotional poster for The Deadly Spawn which can be glimpsed around town this month in preparation of Grindhouse Theater's upcoming 35mm screening.  Hildebrandt not only lent his money and artistic abilities to the film, he also cast his son in the starring role (more accurately the co-starring role when you consider the awesome monsters) and provided his own home for the primary set location.  So while Poltergeist (1982) was dropping 10 million dollars on highfalutin spooks, director Douglas McKeown was sticking his arm up a glorified Muppet's ass and fightin' the good fight for artistic autonomy.  This was a regular family affair and it endures today as the essence of passion over fashion.  In other words, poverty is the true mother of invention.  Incidentally, speaking of Autopsy (and I often am), Wes Benscotter was commissioned to paint the special reissue artwork for The Deadly Spawn a few years ago and his rendition is very cool too.  Anyway, don't miss this! 

THE DEADLY SPAWN 
August 28, 2012 
7:30pm 
Portland, Oregon

Thursday, August 09, 2012

I AM THE SKULL


I'm playing records at this upcoming DANAVA gig at Portland's Plan B
 See you there!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

DAGGER MOON


Did you pick up the new Dead Moon 7" yet?

 What the hell are you waiting for?

Thursday, July 12, 2012

SERVICE FOR A VACANT SUMMER


ACHTUNG, MAGGOTS! Legendary death metal pioneers AUTOPSY will make their first ever appearance in the Pacific Northwest THIS WEEKEND at Portland, Oregon's Hawthorne Theater as part of a two day festival called Revelations of Death! This is an all-ages event and the organizer's did a commendable job keeping ticket prices affordable ($12) so don't pass out early under a bridge and miss this or you will truly never forgive yourself. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if Autopsy didn't actually invent death metal when they dropped Iommi's chocolate bong in Lombardo's peanut butter coffin, they undoubtedly dragged this bastard genre to its most gruesome heights and gory depths. Today they remain the most inventive, dedicated, honest and relevant death metal band in the so-called underground. Prepare to be bludgeoned! Did I mention that GHOUL is headlining on Friday the 13th? Some heads are gonna roll...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

To The Most Beautiful


Today I wish a very Happy Birthday to a very special young lady. 
xoxo 

Thursday, July 05, 2012

UNHOLY AND ROTTEN BLOCK PARTY!


I'm pleased to announce that the bullshit has been sorted out and I will be playing records at East End's Annual Block Party this Saturday from 6:30pm until late and all fuckin' day on Sunday! After a swirl of rumors and false fliers it appears Repulsion will NOT be performing however, MIDNIGHT has stepped up to claim the headlining throne on Sunday July 8th along with local longhairs DANAVA!!!! There's a ton of other bands playing too but, honestly, who cares? I'll be spinning records in between the ruckus and I hope some ironic slouch with a beard, bulletbelt and/or headband tries to soundcheck his kick drum while I'm blasting Riot. Posers can and will die. AND...the Block Party is conveniently located two blocks from Rotture so afterwards we can stumble across the street and catch the deathlike cacophony of DEAD CONGREGATION who destroyed in Seattle last night! Not a bad weekend, Portland. TURN UP THE HELL!!!!

EAST END BLOCK PARTY 
SATURDAY JULY 7 and SUNDAY JULY 8, 2012
Noon until Late
903 SE GRAND 
PORTLAND, OREGON



Sunday, June 24, 2012

DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE!

"A man goes up in flames and you stand there like a faggot!" 
~Don't Go in the House

"How did Don't Go in the House get made? Some people ask 'Why.'" 
~Director, Joseph Ellison 

Horror flicks are rife with maladjusted mama's boys. Come to think of it, the entire horror film industry is more or less written, directed, financed and marketed by and to drooling maladjusted mama's boys. The archetypal nuclear family as private unit of societal order is inherently shrouded and seething with dreadful possibility. It is the "dark matter" of cruel mythology and tragedy of the most prodigious proportions. Let's face it, when families work they are downright miraculous but when they don't...all hell breaks loose! No wonder a gun-toting homosexual visionary like William Burroughs would advocate for the total abolition of the nuclear family. Beneath the opiate grunts and rictus mumblings there is a damn compelling argument. Anthony Perkins' chillingly understated portrayal of Norman Bates in Hitchcock's masterful Psycho (1960) seared forever into popular consciousness the specter of psychopathic brood and variations on the theme have been resurrected to scare the shit out of us ever since. It's universal. Consider the acne-scarred mouth breathing of Frank Zito in Maniac (1980); the oedipal hallucinations of anguished magician Fenix in Sante Sangre (1989)- director Jodorowsky upping the Freudian ante with typical panache by casting his own son(s) as the serial killer!; good ol' boy Ezra Cobb's split pea soup shenanigans in Deranged (1974); the satirical rape-slapstick (sorry) of Ike and Addley in Charles Kaufman's Mother's Day (1980); Jason Voorhees' hooded matriarchal fetishism in Friday The 13th Part 2...ad nauseum (1981). For the sake of brevity let's not even trifle with The Gruesome Twosome (1967) or The Sinful Dwarf (1973). And then there's Joseph Ellison's Don't Go in the House (1979). If you watch only one film this year about a pyromaniac New Jerseyite with mommy issues who incinerates cute disco chicks with a flamethrower in a D.I.Y. steel-walled torture chamber...make it Don't Go in the House! This is one of the most under-appreciated, unsettling and reviled of all mama's boys massacre flicks. It's really no surprise. This film exceeds where others fail precisely because it is absolutely unflinching in its grim portrayal of misogynistic violence, made all the more unnerving by creepy labyrinthine sets and a lingering pace that allows brooding atmosphere to percolate through the celluloid sans comic relief. You can almost smell the charred flesh and smoldering hair. It's angry, mean, and ugly. And, after all, shouldn't a story about burning women alive on a meat hook be all of those things? Allow me to put things in artistic perspective for you cretins: if Lustig's Maniac (which bears more than a passing resemblance and was released one year later) is Slayer's Reign in Blood, Ellison's Don't Go in the House is Mercyful Fate's Don't Break the Oath. Got it? This movie is as much about fire- and all that it has come to symbolize in its fiercest obsessive splendor- as it is about scaring your date into your lap in a darkened theater. And there's a sweet prolonged firewalk within the first few minutes that's worth the price of admission. Did I mention this will be an original 35mm print? Dysfunctional families rule!

DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE 
June 26, 2012 
Portland, Oregon 

Now enjoy these carefully curated songs to get you pumped!

 

Friday, June 08, 2012

NEW DEAD MOON 7" NOW AVAILABLE!


The new Dead Moon 7" is NOW AVAILABLE from Mississippi Records and it's a killer!!!!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

HOW TO TURN 40 IN 20 STEPS


STEP 1:  Get yourself some good friends.  
They just might throw you a party you'll never forget.


STEP 2:  Eat cake.


STEP 3:  Make a wish.
Preferably on stage with a microphone.


STEP 4:  Bang head.


STEP 5:  Continue banging head.


STEP 6:  Repeat as needed.


STEP 7:  Embrace friends.


STEP 8:  Embrace friends while banging head.


STEP 9:  Make new friends.


STEP 10:  Honor ancestry.


STEP 11:  Eat cupcakes while avoiding suckerpunch.


STEP 12:  Think globally, act locally.


STEP 13:  Get yourself a really good DJ.
Try to keep drunks away while he's working.


STEP 14:  Get outdoors and celebrate multiculturalism.


STEP 15:  Try a new athletic activity with family.


STEP 16:  Defy gravity and your digestive system.
We suggest the Screamin' Eagle.


STEP 17:  Climb a mountain during a solar eclipse with loved ones.


STEP 18:  Review your choices.


STEP 19:  Eat more cupcakes.


STEP 20:  Shamelessly throw yourself a second or third party and repeat until Iron Maiden comes to your town.

Monday, May 14, 2012

FOUR DECADES OF DREAD!!!!


Whoa! Ok, apparently my friends have decided to throw a little party for my birthday (and used a very unflattering photo on the flyer to spread the word). I hear "40 is the new 30", but I still hope you'll join us for this momentous occasion.  I plan to "celebrate" for several months so prepare your liver...  

Saturday June 2, 2012 
9pm 
Portland, Oregon

Saturday, May 12, 2012

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE INNSMOUTH

Join me this Sunday evening at The Lovecraft for another night of deep vinyl worship. Expect a strange brew of violent punk, twisted death metal, sleazy weirdo rock, horror soundtracks and vintage flicks on the venue's movie theater sized screen. "CRAWL TO THE CAVE!"

THE LOVECRAFT
Sunday May 13, 2012
421 Southeast Grand Avenue
Portland, Oregon
8pm until late


"...stir the dormant sense of strangeness."

Thursday, May 10, 2012

BLACK TWILIGHT CIRCLE

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

GROSS ANATOMY (part 16)


Y'know, there's a lot of talk these days about hate. Hate is cool. It's big business. So called "extreme metal" fans revel in feelings of self-loathing and impotent rage. They say things like, "This ain't the Summer of Love, bro" or "I hate _____ (insert religion/band/ex-girlfriend/movie/book/vegetable/hygienic accessory/etc.)." Blah, blah, blah.  Not me. I just dimmed the lights and lit my Sexual Inspiration candle. The sheets are silky soft. My blog is almost touching you. That's right, lover...it's Gross Anatomy time! But even love is not entirely without its frowns.  Unfortunately, according to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, about 50% of all first marriages will end in divorce and most will end in about eight years. The odds get worse for second and third marriages which, according to a casual google search five minutes ago, hover around 67% and 74% respectively. Why am I so concerned about love,  marriage and divorce today?  Because it's May Day- a time to celebrate spring fertility and the promise of new beginnings- so today we take a look at a wedding invitation I designed recently for my old friend Kevin and his lovely fiance Amy. This is a private commission but the happy couple have graciously permitted me to post their invite here for your enjoyment, dear reader.  I'm pretty sure they're in good shape in the face of all these dour marriage statistics because Amy has already put up with Kevin's necro-shenanigans for quite some time and she knows exactly what she's getting herself into by tying the knot with a cursed weredude (note to Amy: even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers at night will stagedive onto his cellphone when the Wolfbane blooms and have new scars by the time the autumn moon is bright).  Anyway, this was a fun drawing so let's take a look...


My only "artistic direction" was this goat adorned incense burner which they loaned me for inspiration.  There are some funny stories about how this poor thing was misplaced several times before finally making it to my home due to celebratory drinking headbanging binges but I'll spare everyone those details.


I started with these god awful scribbles as usual to work out the basic composition for a border that would not grossly offend everyone's grandmother and great aunt on the big day.  I considered the idea of using bind runes to underpin the symmetry but ultimately decided to simply include the phonetic interpretation of their names in runes.


Incidentally, you ever have one of these days?

Ahem. Back to the task at hand.  Pretty soon I had this penciled and ready for ink.


A few more hours and the border was ready!

Amy picked this nice font that accentuates the curly composition without being too overwhelming on the eye.  My daughter immediately suggested that they print the invites on gold paper.  Good call!


They turned out looking really nice and I'm pleased to hear that both families approve.  In fact Amy's dad is rumored to have commented, "Very occult." In all seriousness, I wish the soon-to-be-newly weds all the best.  Congratulations, Kevin and Amy!

Until next time...Happy May Day!  
"Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!"

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Pig In The Eagle's Shadow


I have no idea how this slipped past my radar until today (except for the fact that I live in total oblivion to almost everything) but back in 2008 Portland Grindhouse founder and unwavering champion of exploitation cinema Dan Halsted was mistaken for a graffiti "tagger" while walking home from a pub and unceremoniously tackled from behind by police on a dark Northeast Portland city street.  The cops failed to introduce themselves or even ID him before throwing him to the ground and tasing him five times (FIVE TIMES!  The generally recommended maximum use of force with a taser is no more than three times).  Naturally, after the beating Dan was arrested for resisting arrest.  Read the story here. Yesterday the City of Portland quietly agreed to pay Dan $250,000 in damages under the condition that Dan not pursue any further action against the city.  In court the City of Portland's attorney attempted to use Dan's love for kung fu films and his Portland Grindhouse events as evidence that he is prone to violence.  If you've ever met Dan you know the only person he's ever threatened are the assholes who heckle the movie screen during Don't Go In The House (1980).  Portland Grindhouse just got about $250,000 richer! By the way, don't miss Squirm (1976) when it returns to the bigscreen on May 29th!    

Monday, April 23, 2012

WALPURGISNACHT ON THE LEFT


Join me this Wednesday at East End for a very special Walpurgisnacht edition of Last Wednesday On The Left! Spectral forces are gathering and will have their way! I've invited the venerable Markus Wolff to conjure the eight hooves of Sleipnir so expect an intimate set of Germanic hymns as only WALDTEUFEL can invoke. Records spin at 9pm, devils dance at midnight. World without end.