Friday, February 26, 2010

Lucifer Rising repress now available!

The Ajna Offensive is proud to announce the 2010 repress of The Lucifer Rising Suite! The first pressing sold out in three weeks so ORDER NOW or forever hold your piece.


Monday, February 15, 2010


"Masturbate to kill myself!"
2am at the Heavy Metal Vomit Party. I'm not sure if I'm banging my head here or falling asleep. Photo by DJ Amy who, it turns out, also took that photo of me at the Amebix gig. Thanks, Amy!


Motley Crue- Red Hot

Dirge- The Big Trip

Pungent Stench- Blood, Guts and Gastric Juice

Angel Witch- Gorgon

Tormentor- Tormentor

Witchfinder General- Free Country

Pentagram- Twenty Buck Spin

Bestial Warlust- At the Graveyard of God

Laughing Dog- Iron Lungs

Razor- Violence Condoned

Mic Break over Goblin- Suspiria theme song

No Mercy- Wake the Dead

Iron Maiden-Murders in the Rue Morgue

Crumbsuckers- Return to the Womb

Broken Bones- Iron Maiden

The Devil's Blood- White Faces (Rocky Erikson cover)

In Disgust- new, unreleased and apparently unnamed track!

Witchfynde- Give 'em Hell

Longmont Potion Castle- Twinky Gorilla

Autopsy- Robbing the Grave

Sayadinna- Confrontation

Venom- Genocide

Cryptic Slaughter- Mence to Mankind

Terrorizer- Need to Live

Darkthrone- Kathaarian Life Code

Black Sabbath- Electric Funeral

Ghoul- Gutbucket Blues

His Hero is Gone- Like Weeds

Slayer- The Antichrist

Looking for an Answer- Genocidido Educadido

Sodom- Blasphemer

Lunge- Emoliminator

Compulsive Slasher-Euthanasia

Sunday, February 14, 2010

True Story of The Illegal Guardians!

Punc Rok Man by Kallisti, 2004. Your next tattoo?

As a general rule I like to keep my personal life strictly private and, with very few exceptions, I don't drag my family into this cesspool we call the internet. No need to cast my pearls before swine. Especially anonymous swine I can't throw a punch at. But my kids are old enough now to take pride in their papa's dubious accomplishments and they cornered me at the dinner table recently to protest their glaring omission on this blog. They have a good point. I usually rant about things I love and obsess about endlessly. And there's nothing I love and obsess about more than my family. So today I lovingly present a humble slice of Dread Family history that is sure to haunt the kinfolk for years to come (careful what you wish for, kids)...

Way back "in the day" when my son was a mere 10 years old- and still shorter than me- he and two of his adult pals formed a primitive musical trio called The Illegal Guardians. They practiced once a week and before long they had cranked out a respectable collection of songs that eventually became the very limited 4th official release on the Mississippi Records label. The demo contained such eternal ballads as Burritos, Keep Your Hands Off, The Magic Is In The Hole (a recitation of the entire Voodoo Doughnuts menu), and even a Ramones cover. My daughter, 7 years old at the time, provided the cover art with her minimalist masterpiece titled 'Punc Rok Man'. She couldn't spell yet but she astutely rendered the inevitable mohican with hard cider and the demo sold out faster than you could say, "She draws better than her dad." The band went on to play shows with Tragedy, Dog Soldier, This Bike Is A Pipebomb and Stockyard Stoics before our pre-pubescent upstart slowly drifted toward pursuits beyond the decadent spoils of rock 'n' roll super-stardom. All great things must come to an end (until the reunion tour).

So there you have it. The authorized history of The Illegal Guardians. And the last mention of my private life on this blog for another 4 years. Happy Valentine's Day.

Flyer for the legendary Voodoo Doughnuts gig circa 2004!

Monday, February 08, 2010


I'm guest DJ'ing on Portland's only ALL METAL radio show this Wednesday night! Do you like Heavy Metal? Vomit? Join me this Wednesday from 1am until 3am on KBOO RADIO 90.7fm for HEAVY METAL VOMIT PARTY! That's right. 1am until 3am. Like you have anything to wake up early for on Thursday.

This Wednesday!
February 10th
90.7 FM

Thursday, February 04, 2010


The wagons have been circled and the trinity is complete.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010


Today I present to you a splendid ready made band name/album title pulled directly from this morning's Oregonian: FAITH HEALING HOMICIDE. If I were talented enough to have a grindcore band I'd write the song myself. Don't say I never gave you nothin'...